Week 10 – Law of Attraction

Has it ever happened to you when you really wanted or hated something it did happen to you at the end? I am so amazed every single time when it does-and it always makes me smile or laugh…the Universe is just so wonderful and we have such a huge power in our head!

Let me share with  you why my blog is about the Law of Attraction. We have a busy life-kids in school,then: swimming,science club,story club,tap dance and ballet When the weather is nice we rather make some outside activity BUT in this cold weather and after a busy week I am not really fancy going outside…Last Saturday Peter told me we should go for a walk in a wood and I was not in a good mood snapping back I am sure not going anywhere in this weather. Next day I changed my mind we were getting ready to leave,Peter packed everything in the car I was putting my boots on,kids were ready then Peter came back looking for his tools…I asked him what was wrong and it turned out he locked the car keys into the car!!! Obviously we could not go anywhere he tried everything he could nothing worked,the spare key did not work either…He had to call a lock smith and it was solved at the end but the feeling just hit me and I apologized Peter as I was the one who attracted this situation. I said to him I told you I am not going for a walk in the woods! We were laughing. At least we thought it was very funny.:)

I have always been like this. Few years back I hated our wardrobe and not long after that we had to buy a new one,it broke…err…I broke it…and our washing machine,fridge,even our car!!!Peter was begging me not to say anything about our cooker as that is the only one needs to be changed-does not match my kitchen…;) I just wonder…:D

Now I know I only have to concentrate on the good things what I want and what I hate or do not want. It sure works for me!

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Week 9 – Influence of the Social Media

I have to apologize from my teammates as I am a little bit behind with my blog and I promise I will do it on time from now on every week!

We had a big task a couple of weeks ago,Mark asked us not to watch television for a whole week and limit our daily use of any social media. This topic always makes me sad.  I used to love TV. When I was a child we had one in our bedroom which I shared with my Mum and brother. I loved all the action and horror movies and fallen asleep while I was watching it. Since I am a Mum I know that TV is not necessary a good thing-not how we use it nowadays… Actually the big change happened when 7-8 years ago I watched The Secret. What they said about social media it shocked me. I was more aware of these things how they influence the crowed-all the sheep… That was the point when I decided not to watch the news,not to read newspapers,I did not want to know anything about all the disasters and wars and starving children anymore. Some of you now probably think I am heartless but let me tell you something. I know myself,I am very emotional and every time I saw or read something like that I could not bare the pain,was crying all the time,I felt like I was carrying the sadness of the world and what makes it worse I always visualized everything as soon as I started to read! I just could not take it anymore. And all these people who makes these programmes they are very clever,they exactly know how to distract us from our own purpose while they are happy and making the big bucks.

Facebook,computer,any video games,smart phones and God knows what else all time wasters. You are forced to use these things as we civilize more and more. I still can hear, it is in my head when parents at school are laughing and telling each other the best babysitter is the computer and the TV…is it not sad?…-sorry to tell my slightly harsh opinion. I have not talked all about this for a long time as I have been concentrating on all the positive thoughts but I just had to let it out-mental diet,start it again…:)

We do not have video games,consoles,only one TV in the living room. Our children are only allowed to watch CBeebies which is for small kids and we rather listen to classical music during the day. We still read fairy tales and Disney books for them before bedtime and thank God they have a huge imagination! They could play with anything anytime. But still I was shocked when the teachers in school told us this is actually very rare nowadays… The other day our son came home from school saying he does not want to watch CBeebies anymore as it is for only babies…that is what he was told in school by his classmates…I was speechless but pulled myself together with a smile on my face. It turned out he still loves this channel because he can learn so much from those programmes. I told him not to listen to anyone if he likes what he is doing! But honestly? Do they really start pulling back each other from this age???

We are not a perfect family. We are only trying to set up the best example what we can for them. We are just trying to protect their innocence from the ‘Evil’-who knows for how long…

One thing is for sure: ‘I am not a sheep waiting to be prodded by my shepherd. I am a lion and I refuse to talk,to walk,to sleep with the sheep. The slaughterhouse of failure is not my destiny.’                                                                                                                                                                  by Og Mandino;The Scroll Marked III

Week 8 – My dreams

It is blog time,yes! I was so afraid of blogging when we started the MKMMA course but now it is fun! I keep sharing the story of my life with you and yes,I am all about stories!

I just keep thinking about my Vision Board. Do I really need it? I definitely have to rewrite my DMP it is clear to me,but my Vision Board…every time I put something on it, does not feel right. Why is that? Am I the only one here? I know what I want since I was a child so what is going on?

I grew up in a small flat – 45 square meter – with my Mum,brother and Grand Parents. I was always very independent and know exactly what I want.I was a very naughty and stubborn child. I never forget when I was 11 years old and one day I stood in front of my Mum saying to her: ‘I can not wait to be 18 to be able to move out!I’ll have my own house!’ – I am sure my Mum could not wait either. 🙂 I was 17 when I moved out -was in love and moved together with my ex. Ok,I admit it was not the best decision in my life but at least I tried…still wanted my own house.

7 years later I moved to the UK,wanted to save most of my money to buy a flat in Hungary. I rented a room in a house! -and I met Peter.. We rented a room in a house. Then I got pregnant with our son and we got a council flat!-I was so grateful,could not believe when we moved in. That was a huge step for us. I was so happy I got pregnant again not long after we moved in. The flat was getting small so we applied for a bigger flat. And we got it 3 years ago,2bedrooms flat,ground floor,lots of storage spaces,communal garden! We are getting closer and closer to my dream! The Law of Attraction definitely works for me! And this example is just one of the hundreds what happened to me in the past but this one is just huge for me! I won’t stop until I’ll have a 5 bedrooms bungalow with a private garden and we’ll be the owner of that house! I know it is coming I just have to be patient.

Just before I started this blog I was still in trouble with my Vision Board. Then it sank in:there was no picture of my dream house on the Board! And it is not in my DMP! Why is that? I think it is just part of me,it is with me for 21 years,every day and even in my dreams. One thing is for sure,I’ll find that picture or if I won’t I’ll be the one to draw and plan all the details as I want to see it every day with my eyes!

Week 7 – Mirror,mirror on the wall…

Hang on a minute,we do not have a mirror!!!-of course we do,I just love being a little dramatic sometimes,more catching. 🙂 We only have 2 small mirrors in the bathroom and if I want to do my make up or hair I have to use my stool as I can not reach the mirror it is so high. What is the story?-story again…pfff

Few years ago I hated mirrors,I was afraid in dark-had too big imagination which now I know it was only my subby playing his childish games with me;believe me it was not fun at all…I thought I just watched too many horror movies. I slowly got rid of all of our full length mirrors. A few months ago I realized something-since I am doing meditation from about February-I did not hate mirrors,I hated myself. I hated the person who looked back at me…

I talked to my friend and she gave me the strength. We started to work together 8years ago and I never actually realized she was my best friend. She still is. Even if we do not call each other for 6 months,after that we can still continue the same conversation, there is no anger and criticism why we did not call each other AND -that is the beauty part- she loves reiki,meditation,has a placement as a counselor,working for the NHS as a care assistant, studied astrology in the past,loves the Secret and everything what connects to the Universe. She believes in all these things-and better life of course-and most of all she believes in ME…When she heard I started this course she was begging me to get her more information about it and she was sooo excited! She said ‘Erika,do not stop it no matter what because when you realize what you hold in your hand the outcome will be fantastic! This is the key for the life you have ever dreamed of!’ I was speechless and grateful.

Since that time I am craving to see myself in the mirror and love what I see. I see a woman with self confidence and determination in her eyes!

Week 6 – I AM LOVE!

I do not even know where to start there are so many things I want to write about. The last week was pretty tense for me…as some of you-who  ‘had to’ follow me last week noticed I had a weird blog post…there is a reason for that-just as always. I try to keep my story short as I feel I could write a whole book about it!

We are from Hungary been in the UK since 2005. We have two little children-a boy age 7 and a girl age 5. It has been hard without any help and family is so important for me! Last week was half term in school and we surprised our kids inviting my Mum over. And that is when all the ‘trouble’ started. She was a very bad influence for me,all the negativity you can ever imagine. I was not strong enough. So I quit last week,stopped reading and doing all the exercises. Peter -my other half did the nicest thing for me,he wrote No Opinion for my blog so I could keep my scholarship-thanks Peter!:) (He told me to rewrite my blog but I decided not to as I loved some of your comments! 😀 And it is a reminder for me anyway…)

We have a very good relationship with my Mum but it felt like she was from a different world. When I was a child she did not used to be like that. She was the strongest woman and best Mum in the whole world!!! What happened to her? Life,rat race,anger,criticism. She does believe she has no choice. She does not believe in self development. She just went on and on and on…even after I stopped complaining about my life. It was no good. First I felt much better I let all my anger out. Then I started to miss all the readings. We had a good conversation with Peter and I am so grateful he did not give up on me!

So I started to read Mandino again,the next scroll and I have to say it melted my heart! I felt love going through my soul and body!!! I did not regret what happened last week as I believe everything happens for a reason. I still want to change I still want a better life, it seems my old Blueprint was very stubborn last week. So my Mum left, I am back on track,work in progress.

One thing is for sure: I will not invite her over until I feel strong enough-I know it sounds awful…BUT it is for my own good.

I eliminate hatred,envy,jealousy,selfishness,and cynicism,by developing love for all humanity,because I know that a negative attitude toward others can never bring me success.

I will great this day with love in my heart.

I always keep my promises, Lukács Erika

 

Week 4 – MKMMA course

I do not know why I am still waiting for some miracle to happen…FAITH and BELIEF I guess…I am a hopeless ‘dreamer’. I am still here and still doing my homework.

This week I noticed a few things-these are very important things for me. I still get up before my alarm goes off; I feel more positive and calm after I meditate; started to talk to mums at school and strangers in shops with a huge smile on my face-this is extremely unusual from me!!! And the last thing I realized I am not as afraid of spiders anymore as I used to?! We cleaned our shed the other day and a very unusual black spider ran out. My other half caught it and me instead of panicking and paralyzing in fear-which I used to do it before with screaming and crying- looked up on the internet what we are dealing with. It turned out it was a British Black Widow by the way but still I felt like a cold blooded person focused on facts what I read about this creature-you better be prepared anyway when you have kids…

So these are big steps for me-especially the last one- and I have not even thought about them the whole week. It seems to me I am getting over my fears and surprisingly pretty fast. I thought something is wrong with me as I did not feel any changes but now it is more than clear to me this ‘reprogram your subby’ does work!!!

At least I am not hopeless,brilliant news! 😀

I am looking forward to the next webcast and all the homework this Sunday until then I keep doing all the meditation and reading and getting over my fears.

 

Week 3- MKMMA course

Sunday evening,webcast,pretty excited. Info,info,more info,’homework’. Index cards,blue rectangle,red circle,chores,read Og Mendino 3x a day,resend DMP with PPN,write ‘movie trailer’,write blog once per week,meditate 15minutes per day,follow 5 people on Twitter every day,read DMP 3x per day,read Blueprint Builder every day…I was panicking. All I was thinking how the hell am I going to manage it? Two little kids,after school classes,housework,work…all the ‘excuses’. All I heard was the little devil in the back of my head saying: I do not have time for this. But something kept me going-just as always.

Monday,total break down…frustration,anger,no patient with my family at all,still waiting for something to happen.In the evening before I went to bed and read the first scroll out loud,something happened. Those words hit me so hard I was in another ‘dimension’:

‘Today my old skin has become as dust. I walk tall among men and they know me not, for today I am a new man,with a new life.’

I started to cry,looked up on the sky,asked the divine to help me to be a ‘new man,with a new life’…That was the moment I realized I am ready to change it only takes time.

Week 2-MKMMA course

Here we are again,second week of the course…hmmm. I have to say I could not wait to get started after the webcast on Sunday I was up until 1am thinking about my life,what I really want to achieve. I was so excited simply could not go to sleep. I was so surprised of my reactions I was waiting for something…

I was sure I will be very tired in the morning but I was not! Something very strange happened with me this week,I am up every morning before my alarm goes off-which was absolutely impossible in the past few years. It is a huge step for me! Good start! 🙂 -I thought…

Blue rectangle and ‘do it now’… it made me smile when we practiced it in front of our children-it was so catching for them they repeated it in the whole afternoon even during their homework! It does work!!! And it was actually fun.

Then today my old Subby hit me…hard…with silly and negative thoughts…until I started to do my readings again. I felt much better after my 15minutes ‘break’. Surprisingly I had no issues with sitting still at all!

So all in all I feel better, keep observing myself in every way-I have found out very interesting things about me… and I can not wait for webcast number 3!:)

Week 1- MKMMA course

As I am very new with blogging I am not 100% sure how this works. I have to do it every week from now on as part of my “homework” so hopefully one day everything will make sense about my writing.:)

Why have I started this course? That is a bit of a story I do not want to waste your time so I try to keep it short. I used to be very happy.chatty with everybody,had lot of friends,all in all I had a very busy social life. I was always the one with positive attitude everybody came to me for advice,they said I was a fresh breath of air and gave them strength. And then it all vanished. I vanished. Moved to the UK 8years ago,had my kids and I got depressed. I should have been happy but I just could not,I was negative…for years. Kids,work,kids,housework,kids,few hours sleep,kids…typical rat race. Last year I had my hope back. My best friend invited me to Paris! That was one of the most important momentum of my life,my childhood’s dream came true!!! I was crying at the Eiffel Tower…it was so intense I could not get back to reality I was eager to keep that feeling! Since that time I have been looking for something what makes me whole again…

When my other half told me about this course he said: I want to talk to you,there is this course… He did not even look at me as I keep teasing him about doing different courses all the time-and of course he got nowhere so far… He was actually shocked when I said: I want to do it with you!-without any hesitation. But than before the course started I was not so sure anymore and when I got the confirmation email I was like ‘oh, sugar,I actually have to commit to this course for 26weeks…crap…’ And I have to say the first week is hard for me. One day is better then the other but it gets bad again,it is an emotional roller coaster. I feel like I am fighting with myself,finding it hard to concentrate on the words I read and I find it extremely hard to sit still for 15-20minutes.:( There is always a battle in my head and I hope  as time goes by I’ll grow each day become slave to good habits and gain success by the end of the course.

Erika